A hug is a great gift... one size fits all, and it's easy to exchange. (Natasha Isabelle)
| A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home. |
| A husband got in big trouble after his wedding anniversary. His wife told him the day before: "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat." The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. |
| A husband is the medicine that cures all the ills of girlhood. |
| Aim at heaven and you get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. (C. S. Lewis) |
| A journey of a thousand miles always begins with one step. (ancient Egyptian proverb) |
| A judge is a law student who marks their own examination papers. (H.L. Mencken) |
| A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer. |
| A kid's idea of a balanced diet is a hamburger in each hand. |
| A king's castle is his home. |
| A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. |
| A lasting marriage consists of the 3 C's; Commitment Communication Compromise. (Lilly) |
| Alcohol preserves everything but not dignity. |
| A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way. (John C. Maxwell) |
| A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once. |
| Algebra was easy for the Romans because "X" was always 10. |
| A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. (Edgar J. Mohn) |
| A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. |
| Alimony: funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily married to live happily unmarried. |
| Alimony is having an ex-husband you can bank on. |
| A little boy asked his mother why the minister got a month's vacation while his dad only got two weeks. The mother answered, "Well, son, if he's a good minister, he needs it. If he isn't, the congregation needs it." |
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear"?
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
A little boy sat through a Sunday School class and learned about the time Jesus went to a wedding and changed the water into wine.
"And what did you learn from that story?" asked his father afterward.
The boy thought for a moment and answered, "If you're having a wedding, make sure Jesus is there."
| A little boy's prayer. "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess." |
| A little boy took the chair at the barbershop. "How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber. "Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the back." |
| A little boy was saying his bedtime prayers with his mother: "Lord, bless Mommy and Daddy, and God, GIVE ME A NEW BICYCLE!!!" Mom: "God's not deaf, son. Boy: "I know, Mom, but Grandma's in the next room, and she's hard of hearing! |
When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear; "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."
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