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A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but finally decided he had everything with him. Yet the feeling persisted.
When he reached home his daughter ran out, stopped short, and cried, "Daddy, where's Mommy?"
A man who is attracted by your mental appearance loves you more than a man who is attracted by your physical appearance.
A man who lives in a glass house should change in basement.
A man who lives in a glass house shouldn't throw stones.
A man with a watch knows what time it is.
A man with two watches is never sure.
A man who thinks he is smarter than his wife, has a very smart wife!
A man who throws dirt loses ground.
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
America is a land where citizens vote for Democrats but hope to live like Republicans.
America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.
Amidst the mists and coldest frosts
he thrusts his fists against the posts
and still insists he sees the ghosts.
(and now speak it out loud)
"Am I indecisive?" Can I get back to you on that?
A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself. -louis L'Amour
A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
A minister was talking to similar group of young children.
"Who can tell me what we must do before we can expect forgiveness of sin?"
There was a moment's pause, then Tommy made a logical contribution:
"Well, sir, first we have got to sin."
A moment on the lips,
an eternity on the hips.
Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart. -Zig Ziglar
A more expensive tennis racket will not make you a better player.
A mother holds her children hands for a while, their hearts forever.
A mother was asked: "Do you do any literary work?"
"Yes," she replied, "I am writing two books."
"What are their titles?"
" 'John' and 'Mary,' " she answered. "My business is to write upon the minds and hearts of my children the lessons they will never forget."
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
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